Timed Writing

Rainbow Soul and Tears – Storms in Life – Timed Writing Prompts

by Sheila Finkelstein on November 11, 2015

“The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears.” Laurel Burch

This quote is on a mug that I purchased from Amazon shortly after Sam died. During those first few difficult months, I gave myself permission to buy little, what for me were, “luxury items” as comforts for my soul, I suppose.

I do have several Laurel Burch mugs and hadn’t seen them since we moved here. The beauty of the image on this one initially drew me in and, even more importantly for me, the writing in the center of the mug was a reminder of tears… that tears are ok. Only I wasn’t doing much crying, permission or not. So that’s the story behind my having introduced the quote to our [writing] group today…

“Rainbows, I’m forever chasing,” I stated the other day when I went chasing a beautiful rainbow (to photograph) after a violent thunderstorm. It seems to me that perhaps the most beautiful rainbows come after turbulent storms rather than gentle rains.

Does my soul, thus, need turbulence to have rainbows in it? Does it need to have the tears to create whatever combination creates a rainbow? Beautiful colors? Shapes? Purity?

(and the 4 minute timer called the end….Interestingly, for me, the next prompt somewhat continued the “conversation.”)

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to stand in the rain.” – Anonymous

This one brings up immediate memories… tearful ones now…of the hurricane of a couple of years ago. I recently came across photos of Sam sitting in my closet… me, too, when I got back in to join him after taking the photo. Close and secure, the two of us, as we waited for the hurricane and its threats to pass over.

Though we weren’t physically standing in the rain we were going with it, no protest, simply enjoying being with one another and whatever was going on… at least I’d like to think there was no fear there.

The effects of that hurricane left us powerless… in electricity that is.. for several days. And we got to appreciate being in the present. Instead of complaining I treasured the time for reading, resting, eating gooshy strawberries that had defrosted and were still cold when I took them out of the cooler.

How glad I was to have Sam with me, my companion, my lover, and, I guess we were learning to stand in the rain of our lives over several years… the rain being the effects of Parkinson’s disease on him and, thus, us.

PS – For cheer when I bought the Rainbow Soul mug I also bought Laurel Burch’s Ponies and Parrots mug from Amazon –Final note on this post – Having created a miraculous life of beauty and love with her art and color and entrepreneurship, despite constant pain and broken bones, Laurel Burch sadly passed away (2 months and 8 days before Sam’s death) on Sept. 13, 2007 at the age of 61.

See her spirit and process in a 6-minute VIDEO interview with her. You can also read about her life in The New York Times – Obituary – Sept. 20, 2007.

NOTE: The two Laurel Burch mugs shown here are long longer available. You can find other beautiful ones on LAUREL BURCH MUGS on AMAZON .

First published on Sept 1, 2009. Updated December 7, 2019

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In AWE – Being Present to the Wonder in Our Life

by Sheila Finkelstein on June 25, 2013

I am in a weekly writing group where the members and I do 4-minute, free-flow writing to quotes that participants bring. After I read my writing to the quote below, my friends became quite adamant in encouraging me to post it.

Though it wasn’t exactly “writing for healing”, I find all my free-flow writing is healing, in some way, as my subconscious speaks to me. I thank my friends Morgine Jurdan, Marifran Korb and Linda Butler today for their listening and giving me the space to be me.

The specific quote:

“If you are not living in AWE you are not paying attention,” Albert Einstein

to which I wrote: [click to continue…]

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Bread Soaking Up and Giving Life

by Sheila Finkelstein on September 26, 2010

Today WRITING CAMP, my friend Morgine Jurdan wrote and read about a delectable meal she recently had. Beautifully described, missing, for me, was the bread soaking up sauce part she had told me about in an earlier phone conversation. After the call, I wrote:

Morgine’s bread soaking up the cream mustard sauce – doesn’t matter what the sauce – I see it, feel it, that piece of bread swelling with the fullness of the tasty moisture it is absorbing – all the cells getting full as its body is pushed around the plate to gather up all that is available in the plate of life to put into my gut.

“My gut” – Interesting I’m so harsh about it – “gut” sounds so heavy, almost ugly. What if it were into my “being” – gently, slowly, if I temper myself to taste morsel by morsel and allow myself to digest the treasures of the plate – slowly working their way through my boding, sensing the spaces they need to fill? It’s all liquid, absorbed and softened by the carrier, a healthy piece of bread, bringing out peace of mind, peace of body.

PS – Originally wrote “mustard sauce” and in editing added the “cream” (which had in reality been there). I was tempted to remove the “mustard” part. “Too tangy”, thought I. Then, “Silly, or not, maybe that’s what’s missing for you – the tanginess of life!”

If you missed the link to Morgine’s writing, see I Remember…, halfway down the post, for the meal writing to which I responded.

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Writing Prompt – Blessings in Front of Me

by Sheila Finkelstein on September 24, 2010

I had a full “plate” of classes and “to-dos” today and once again I got a nudge at 11:30 AM to finish the call I was on and drop in on Julie Jordan Scott’s WRITING CAMP. From my experience of being in the spaces that Julie creates, I know something is bound to open up for me. I my not always know what it is or will be and I was surprised today to find that memories of Sam flowed from my, interestingly, red pen. Was the “red” for my heart?

The prompt “Blessings in front of my right now“; the floor and the tiles that take me anywhere I want to go in my house: to the riches or the distractions; to 3 carpeted rooms, two of which house my MacIntosh computers; the other my bed for rest and memories of Sam, of being held closely, tightly, lovingly and being gently caressed on the flesh of my abdomen when I lay on my back.

I hated this. It brought my attention and awareness to what I felt was an excess of fat, more pronounced, for me, with his caresses. I always stopped him, removed his hand; never thought to ask what pleasure he derived from this. Too late now.

My writing continued, given there was more time before the timer had Julie state, “Complete your thought and end for now.” I continued writing about the pot in front of me, in the center of the floor, remaining from a fire ritual I did last night, celebrating the Fall Equinox. And that story is unimportant here.

Suffice it to say, “Life does go on and we can continue to find richness and blessings if we put ourselves out in communities which support us.” Thank you, Julie.

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Dreams and Visions from September 2005

by Sheila Finkelstein on December 11, 2009

I just came across this on one of my sites and thought it belonged here… one of those teary moments and some of the writing might have been healing then. The reading and remembering is now part of the healing process.

9/14/05 – I have participated in many very powerful programs with Julie Jordan Scott. Currently I am in Julie’s Dream Activation Program, see DREAMS and in a writing program of hers. Part of the 42 days of Dream Activation is sharing one’s dreams and having them witnessed. Today I shared my expression around my dreams.

Sam Finkelstein blows kisses
Sam Finkelstein Blowing Kisses at the Surprise 45th Wedding Anniversary Party given for us by our sons and their families – 8/27/05

DREAMS for Dream Activation Witnessing – September 14, 2005

I came into this Dream Activation program after it started, stating that I do not really have dreams, at least not any that I can put my fingers on/around.

Last night, I read the statement On VISION, in ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE (p. 14) by Keith Harrell. He speaks of it, stating that “A vision can’t fail if you do the right thing.” He goes on to say, “The most critical first step is understanding your purpose in life and developing a personal vision. A personal vision consists of knowing what you want to do, for whom, and for what purpose.”

I’m thinking that I was equating Dreams with Vision and I have not specifically defined what I want to do for whom and for what purpose.

In order to prepare for my share today, I needed to write about my husband and create a clearing. So two nights ago I wrote and then, in Julie’s Special Writing Program yesterday which I’ve also just joined, the second part of what’s up for me seemed to fall in place.

To lay the foundation, I want to share what I first wrote. Sam, my beloved husband, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease 8 1/2 years ago and in the past year, communication, getting his thoughts out, has become quite difficult at times and we’ve had some other intermittent challenges. And so I wrote –

DREAMING

I dream of things that can never be, or no longer be. I dream of Sam and I being able to travel, to take the cruises he desires, to walk the beaches with him at my side. I dream of our having extended conversations, many of which we never had.

I dream of being sweet, loving and compassionate with him, not the ranting bitch that emerges from time to time…sometimes frequent times.

I dream of his initiating, generating, and my being able to lean on him, depend on him, though I’d protest it along the way.

I dream of people helping him, engaging him, enlivening him…things that I have no patience for. I dream of letting go of resentment and forgiving myself for not spending more AND quality time with him.

I notice I keep saying “him.” My mother used to hate when I, or anyone, referred to her as “her.” “Him” is Sam, my beloved, who has put up with so much with me, always putting me first before himself, or anyone else.

Though he often protested, at least initially, on things I started, new and innovative, he ultimately was always there for me, supporting me. And with it all, bottom line, in whatever way, I am always there for him.

If I’d see myself through Sam’s eyes I’d be quite accomplished, tackling huge projects, as yet unknown and undefined.

Right now I dream of peace and ease, of having it all – luxury unlimited, money and resources, all without having to put out much effort.

I dream of communities of people interacting purposefully and with love.

I dream of people making discoveries and being excited by what they do.

I dream of having, being in a close knit community, with friends who energize and excite me and themselves.

I dream of books not yet written, 2 at least, though I know not what they are.

I dream of being famous, for what I do not know.

I dream of connections – people being connected for whatever they need.

I dream of a clutter-free environment, of a staff to tend to all of our needs – cooking, cleaning, organizing.

At one point I dreamed of watching sunrise over the ocean, while lying in bed, opening the drapes with a remote control. That dream also had woods and streams in the back of the house where we could see sunset and workshops for an artists’, actually corporate workers’, retreat. The latter is no longer part of my dream. Is it resignation or simply that I’ve moved in different directions?

And so my writing concluded the other night and I thought I’d search through my writings in my Picture to Ponder almost-daily ezine (now weekly) to find the points I seem to emphasize and thus get a handle on where I’m standing.

Then I experienced more free flow writing, with Julie yesterday.

The final prompt for the session was THE GIFT I GIVE TO MY READERS IS. . .and I wrote,

“The gift I give my readers is the opportunity for them to discover the richness in their worlds, the beauty of what’s in their physical spaces, the visions they have, perhaps as-yet unknown, in their souls…

the words, the tools, the ways of interconnecting to their selves and to each other, the people in their lives whom they’ve met and not yet met.

The gift I give to my readers is the beauty of knowing and believing in themselves.

And, I’m reminded that in “mission statements” for jobs in varying fields was always some form of supporting/empowering people in believing and themselves.

It’s who I be in my actions. Is it a Vision? A dream? I don’t know.”

Note for those new to this blog – My beloved Sam passed away on 11/21/07, see REMEMBERING SAM, and as I put this together on 1/7/09 I am struggling with what new dreams I can create. The dreams listed after those I had of life with Sam certainly can act as inspiration for me, they are and came from someplace within as did THE GIFT I GIVE MY READERS as spelled out above.

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Words Bite – Do the Feelings Remain? NaBloPoMo Day 14

by Sheila Finkelstein on August 2, 2009

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Carl W. Buechner

Once again, Sam comes up. I hope he forgot what I said and forgot how I made him feel in the moment. When I screamed and yelled and cursed, he hated the “f” word. He felt like “sh” I know. Sometimes he said it. So the feeling was there. And, thankfully, I think he did forget how I made him feel in those moments or he wouldn’t have been able to put up with it.

I’ll rest in peace and he is too, I’m sure, knowing that most of the feelings he would never forget are those of being loved and cherished, as was I, most of our times together, throughout our 47 1/2 years of marriage.

If we worry about everything we say, it can be very stifling. On the other hand, a good practice always is to think before we speak. Though we may not think about the feelings, if we ask ourselves, “Will this make a difference?”, it will, obviously, have an effect on feelings.

4 minute writing – 10/21/08 – eleven months after Sam’s death. – What had surfaced in response to that quote were the memories of my anger. When I was in the midst of them, unfortunately, nothing else mattered. And, I was truly blessed that Sam understood, and accepted, what was going on with me during those moments.

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The Fatigue of Searching – NaBloPoMo Day 13

by Sheila Finkelstein on August 1, 2009

“You are wearing yourself out with all this searching. Go home and rest.” Oriah

Searching, searching, searching… well discovery anyway. That’s the juice of my life. It’s only when I’m consciously, purposefully, I think, searching for answers that I get worn out. Well maybe it’s the second and third searching that’s the ‘wearing out” part. It’s the initial searching… the being open to discovery that’s the excitement for me.

No That’s not accurate also. The excitement for me comes from discovering something new, unexpectedly, spontaneously. Therein lies my joy. Then sometimes I might search for answers let’s say on Google. For a while that’s fun. New discoveries and after a while truth be told it does get “wearing.” “Wearing”…do I actually put any of the stuff on as clothes?

Let me look momentarily at “go home and rest”. Where is that home? What is that rest? Home to myself. Simply being accepting and reveling in the joy of discovery. There is the “rest” – the “home.”

Note – Written 4-07-09, not all that long ago and reading it now is a reminder for me that sometimes all the “searching” I do is the “wearing-out”, “fatiguing” part… Sometimes the “rest” is simply “letting go” and accepting what is.

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Inner Vision Quote – Writing – Seeing – NaBloPoMo Day 11

by Sheila Finkelstein on July 30, 2009

“Inner vision is perhaps the greatest change catalyst that the world has ever known.” Diarsmid O’Murchu

Inner Vision – 2 words could be one word like television. One Word – a screen into which we can look and see the secrets of our soul – a clear flat panel for fast moving pictures. Could be delights and also could be nightmares. I see now a sonogram with a moving baby. Didn’t have those in my time, at least not for general use.

Inner Vision separated brings more of a mental-sensory thing/experience to me – a kind of intuition. Innervision – we can see with our eyes.

Inner – coming from within. Vision – coming from without – Can be a different experience. I’m actually getting confused here. Mixing up metaphors and combining things; a tendency of mine, to wander, mix, get off track. Not sure I want to stay here, blocking out things I don’t want to see.

It is ok to turn off the innervision screen. Needs rest sometimes. Don’t we all? And perhaps that is when the INNER VISION is the strongest – at Peace – a blank canvas, screen, that is!

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Writing Reminder – Importance of Action One Step at a Time – NaBoPoMo Day 10

by Sheila Finkelstein on July 29, 2009

“In the moment, sometimes the only way to find out what it is I want to do is go ahead and do something. Then the moment I start to act my feelings become clear.” Hugh Prather

This quote so sums up my life which almost always seems to be the act of creation. How well I know that all it takes to get me out of a slump is simple action – out of my head and the rights and wrongs that smack themselves around there, along with the dos and don’ts and shoulds and shouldn’ts. Anything, it doesn’t matter.

The act of taking a miniscule, seemingly infinitesimal, step is sufficient to light a path to wherever, whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s the moving forward that sets in all in motion. The excitement comes. It builds and whole new things open up. Sometimes, not always, and it’s enough, more than enough, sometimes great – Yes, Picture to Ponder, the little girl sculpture on my table – so much more – my life.

written 1/29/08 – Free flow, timed writing to a quote and

Interestingly tonight, 7/28/09 , Dan Millman, The Peaceful Warrior, stated on a conference call that yes, it’s important to pay attention to our feelings AND to focus on our actions, moment to moment, what we need to do next and act.

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Insight into Personal Power and Calling – NaBloPoMo – Day 8

by Sheila Finkelstein on July 27, 2009

“Where your power and the needs of the world cross, there lies your calling.” Aristotle

So many talents have I, my dilemma, my sticking point. “Where are the needs of the world that are wanting to be fulfilled by which of my talents?”

What comes up now, as I write, is “beauty”. “Everyone wants beauty,” so my friends tell me. I see “beauty in the ordinary”, “the extraordinary”, everywhere. And I suppose, when I start seeing that as an unfulfilled need for people, I can market accordingly and feel my power, my calling.

I hear my mastermind buddies yelling “yea”, as I write, for they tell me this all the time I think right now it’s simply that I’m suddenly seeing it a fraction differently, as a place where I can stand, from which I can come.

Interestingly in a way it all also fits with the Pollyanna in me. She, above Nancy Drew, was my favorite childhood heroine, or book anyway. Maybe Pollyanna precede Nancy in my age scale. Pollyanna’s talent for seeing the good in everything is what became, I think, an underlying pathway for me to live my life.

(And so, once more, timed writing from a prompt has given me an opening. Is that not what healing is about? Creating new openings?)

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