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Rainbow Soul and Tears – Storms in Life – Timed Writing Prompts

by Sheila Finkelstein on November 11, 2015

“The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears.” Laurel Burch

This quote is on a mug that I purchased from Amazon shortly after Sam died. During those first few difficult months, I gave myself permission to buy little, what for me were, “luxury items” as comforts for my soul, I suppose.

I do have several Laurel Burch mugs and hadn’t seen them since we moved here. The beauty of the image on this one initially drew me in and, even more importantly for me, the writing in the center of the mug was a reminder of tears… that tears are ok. Only I wasn’t doing much crying, permission or not. So that’s the story behind my having introduced the quote to our [writing] group today…

“Rainbows, I’m forever chasing,” I stated the other day when I went chasing a beautiful rainbow (to photograph) after a violent thunderstorm. It seems to me that perhaps the most beautiful rainbows come after turbulent storms rather than gentle rains.

Does my soul, thus, need turbulence to have rainbows in it? Does it need to have the tears to create whatever combination creates a rainbow? Beautiful colors? Shapes? Purity?

(and the 4 minute timer called the end….Interestingly, for me, the next prompt somewhat continued the “conversation.”)

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to stand in the rain.” – Anonymous

This one brings up immediate memories… tearful ones now…of the hurricane of a couple of years ago. I recently came across photos of Sam sitting in my closet… me, too, when I got back in to join him after taking the photo. Close and secure, the two of us, as we waited for the hurricane and its threats to pass over.

Though we weren’t physically standing in the rain we were going with it, no protest, simply enjoying being with one another and whatever was going on… at least I’d like to think there was no fear there.

The effects of that hurricane left us powerless… in electricity that is.. for several days. And we got to appreciate being in the present. Instead of complaining I treasured the time for reading, resting, eating gooshy strawberries that had defrosted and were still cold when I took them out of the cooler.

How glad I was to have Sam with me, my companion, my lover, and, I guess we were learning to stand in the rain of our lives over several years… the rain being the effects of Parkinson’s disease on him and, thus, us.

PS – For cheer when I bought the Rainbow Soul mug I also bought Laurel Burch’s Ponies and Parrots mug from Amazon –Final note on this post – Having created a miraculous life of beauty and love with her art and color and entrepreneurship, despite constant pain and broken bones, Laurel Burch sadly passed away (2 months and 8 days before Sam’s death) on Sept. 13, 2007 at the age of 61.

See her spirit and process in a 6-minute VIDEO interview with her. You can also read about her life in The New York Times – Obituary – Sept. 20, 2007.

NOTE: The two Laurel Burch mugs shown here are long longer available. You can find other beautiful ones on LAUREL BURCH MUGS on AMAZON .

First published on Sept 1, 2009. Updated December 7, 2019

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Haiku Writing Used to Control Anger

by Sheila Finkelstein on June 9, 2012

As I was writing this week’s post for Treasure Your Life Now I spontaneously registered HaikuForHealing.com and mask forwarded it over here to WritingforHealing.com.

Then I discovered that it’s been over 6 months since I posted here. I haven’t been thinking in terms of needing “healing” and that’s kind of “silly”. I’m thinking I’m putting a heavy weight on the term “healing”. Writing is a process I use daily in my Morning Pages (a la Julia Cameron in the ARTIST’S WAY and all of her other books).

Oftentimes it’s “healing” when it gets me passed some blocks. The writing itself, when I don’t make it mean something, can be freeing. Sometimes when “dumping” feels necessary, it can be cathartic. It’s far better to do it on paper than to or at another person.

And, at times when I’ve really needed to get control of myself I’ve used the Haiku process as described below.

harsh words Haiku on photo image Going through some old papers recently, I found one of the numerous Haikus I had written six and seven years ago when I was experiencing a great deal of anger at how Parkinson’s Disease was affecting my beloved Sam.

[click to continue…]

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Wind Caresses, Memories and Longing

by Sheila Finkelstein on December 27, 2010

I came across these random thoughts written on a pad as I walked in Green Cay a couple of months ago. Thought I’d add them here, since all writing, for me, adds to some form of healing.

Seeing loads of snail shells, large ones, out of their element, or is it me?

Breezes sweep past and caress my legs as I look out –
Cameraless, Partnerless, here at Green Cay.

Pad and Pen – Spaces for Tears.
Well, I let them come. No camera to hide behind tonight.

Feeling breezes again
Quick caresses on my legs.
Oh, how I wish they were yours, that you were here, my Beloved.

Spoonbill was on dry land, dried out spot –
Found way back to walk.
Only for me, dry land – wet land.
There is more to find here on Earth.

Anhinga is spreading his wings and don’t know why it is.
Is it you, my Darling, letting me know through your favorite bird that you’re here?

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Hands as seen by Sam and Sheila – Throughout Our Years

by Sheila Finkelstein on July 22, 2010

I’ve just completed reading my friend Renee Barnow’s Blog post – “What Do Your Hands Say? What Does Your Voice Hold?” [Unfortunately Renee’s post is no longer available – 5-6-18.]

Immediately, I imaged the photograph Sam took years ago of my hand lighting Hanukah Candles on the Menorah. I then I started recalling so many others of his wonderful black and white photos; so instead of a single comment on Renee’s post, I decided to create my own post in response.

Hand honors Ritual and Celebration of Light

Hands display art (here – sterling silver and ceramic rings made by me) while caressing Nature’s textures

In wonder and awe – hands caress pregnant belly and yet-to-be-born child

Future brother’s hand lifts maternity blouse, querying the future –
(To see more photos of young boys’ hands expressing love and togetherness, Sam’s Photos, click on a thumbnail and cycle through the enlargements)

Hand in Hand – Child and Man – Symbolizes Trust (Young boy’s hand in Sam’s – photo ©Sheila Finkelstein)

and, I was reminded of how often I use “hand” in language… “on the other hand”, “in my hands”, “hand-drawing” (in describing my photo/drawings)

Sporadically, I’ve been posting on this blog sharing some of my writing as examples of a pathway to healing. Today, I’m reminded though the words came, I am blessed to have the photos and the technical ability to share them with you also – photography and cycling through memories as another access to healing.

Note – As I scrolled down this published page, I noted other photos – Hands for blowing kisses and Hands for writing.

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Scuba Diving versus Snorkeling – Going Deeper or Letting Go

by Sheila Finkelstein on January 4, 2010

Koi Fish

At the end of the 30-day Conscious Energy Shifts call this morning, Adela Rubio made a comment on Snorkeling and Scuba Diving. Because of my fears the couple of times I’ve snorkeled, it immediately resonated with me.

I responded by writing the following – To hear me read this, click on the arrow:

Snorkeling Vs. Scuba Diving

“Put on a suit. Go deeper,” said Adela.
See what’s available in scuba diving.

It seems to me that going deeper with scuba diving might feel safer than snorkeling. With scuba diving, I image a life line being there. With snorkeling, I’m on my own.

For me the challenge would be/is to move beyond the safety of the boat, even the side of the pool – the knowing that I can get to the side within seconds and be secure, grab on.

What is the fear of going past my self-imposed limits?

Fear of drowning? This seems odd since I sometimes say/think that my life has been fulfilled, is complete.

Fear of struggling, not being able to breathe? The head knows it’s simply one breath at a time. Relax into it. Maybe, it’s the body that knows this. The head kicks in with the noises, planting its negative seeds.

If so, I can simply be with my body. Trust it and snorkel beyond the boat to those spaces with other sea life even more beautiful than what’s closest to the boat.

I will create a challenge for myself and respond to it. I’ll practice in the pool (all the while hoping it stays cold here in Florida for another month or two) – snorkel/swimming down the center, not quite an easy distance to the side. I might also swim/snorkel across the deep end.

Simply thinking of this, tightens up my body. Fears kick in. Perhaps recalling the memory, 60 plus years ago, of learning to ride a bike can ease the concern. Certainly there must have been fear of falling, one which I ultimately conquered. For years after I had the freedom of the ride.

Deep breath. Exhale. Image the feeling of freely playing, dancing with the fish – the colors and the rhythms. Then take that back on land.

What would the feeling be, playing among the limitless sea of humans in natural environments – growing strong and free – full of spontaneous, authentic self-expression – an empowering dance of life? Ah, yes!

—-
PS – Where’s the life line? Do I need it? The life line is within – the trust. Trust that I can and trust there will be one person and/or a community to support and save me if I’m in trouble. Thank you.

(Note the photograph above is not of ocean fish. Rather they are Koi fish in a pond in a Nature center. I show them here as representative of the color and movement to which I refer.)

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Dreams and Visions from September 2005

by Sheila Finkelstein on December 11, 2009

I just came across this on one of my sites and thought it belonged here… one of those teary moments and some of the writing might have been healing then. The reading and remembering is now part of the healing process.

9/14/05 – I have participated in many very powerful programs with Julie Jordan Scott. Currently I am in Julie’s Dream Activation Program, see DREAMS and in a writing program of hers. Part of the 42 days of Dream Activation is sharing one’s dreams and having them witnessed. Today I shared my expression around my dreams.

Sam Finkelstein blows kisses
Sam Finkelstein Blowing Kisses at the Surprise 45th Wedding Anniversary Party given for us by our sons and their families – 8/27/05

DREAMS for Dream Activation Witnessing – September 14, 2005

I came into this Dream Activation program after it started, stating that I do not really have dreams, at least not any that I can put my fingers on/around.

Last night, I read the statement On VISION, in ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE (p. 14) by Keith Harrell. He speaks of it, stating that “A vision can’t fail if you do the right thing.” He goes on to say, “The most critical first step is understanding your purpose in life and developing a personal vision. A personal vision consists of knowing what you want to do, for whom, and for what purpose.”

I’m thinking that I was equating Dreams with Vision and I have not specifically defined what I want to do for whom and for what purpose.

In order to prepare for my share today, I needed to write about my husband and create a clearing. So two nights ago I wrote and then, in Julie’s Special Writing Program yesterday which I’ve also just joined, the second part of what’s up for me seemed to fall in place.

To lay the foundation, I want to share what I first wrote. Sam, my beloved husband, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease 8 1/2 years ago and in the past year, communication, getting his thoughts out, has become quite difficult at times and we’ve had some other intermittent challenges. And so I wrote –

DREAMING

I dream of things that can never be, or no longer be. I dream of Sam and I being able to travel, to take the cruises he desires, to walk the beaches with him at my side. I dream of our having extended conversations, many of which we never had.

I dream of being sweet, loving and compassionate with him, not the ranting bitch that emerges from time to time…sometimes frequent times.

I dream of his initiating, generating, and my being able to lean on him, depend on him, though I’d protest it along the way.

I dream of people helping him, engaging him, enlivening him…things that I have no patience for. I dream of letting go of resentment and forgiving myself for not spending more AND quality time with him.

I notice I keep saying “him.” My mother used to hate when I, or anyone, referred to her as “her.” “Him” is Sam, my beloved, who has put up with so much with me, always putting me first before himself, or anyone else.

Though he often protested, at least initially, on things I started, new and innovative, he ultimately was always there for me, supporting me. And with it all, bottom line, in whatever way, I am always there for him.

If I’d see myself through Sam’s eyes I’d be quite accomplished, tackling huge projects, as yet unknown and undefined.

Right now I dream of peace and ease, of having it all – luxury unlimited, money and resources, all without having to put out much effort.

I dream of communities of people interacting purposefully and with love.

I dream of people making discoveries and being excited by what they do.

I dream of having, being in a close knit community, with friends who energize and excite me and themselves.

I dream of books not yet written, 2 at least, though I know not what they are.

I dream of being famous, for what I do not know.

I dream of connections – people being connected for whatever they need.

I dream of a clutter-free environment, of a staff to tend to all of our needs – cooking, cleaning, organizing.

At one point I dreamed of watching sunrise over the ocean, while lying in bed, opening the drapes with a remote control. That dream also had woods and streams in the back of the house where we could see sunset and workshops for an artists’, actually corporate workers’, retreat. The latter is no longer part of my dream. Is it resignation or simply that I’ve moved in different directions?

And so my writing concluded the other night and I thought I’d search through my writings in my Picture to Ponder almost-daily ezine (now weekly) to find the points I seem to emphasize and thus get a handle on where I’m standing.

Then I experienced more free flow writing, with Julie yesterday.

The final prompt for the session was THE GIFT I GIVE TO MY READERS IS. . .and I wrote,

“The gift I give my readers is the opportunity for them to discover the richness in their worlds, the beauty of what’s in their physical spaces, the visions they have, perhaps as-yet unknown, in their souls…

the words, the tools, the ways of interconnecting to their selves and to each other, the people in their lives whom they’ve met and not yet met.

The gift I give to my readers is the beauty of knowing and believing in themselves.

And, I’m reminded that in “mission statements” for jobs in varying fields was always some form of supporting/empowering people in believing and themselves.

It’s who I be in my actions. Is it a Vision? A dream? I don’t know.”

Note for those new to this blog – My beloved Sam passed away on 11/21/07, see REMEMBERING SAM, and as I put this together on 1/7/09 I am struggling with what new dreams I can create. The dreams listed after those I had of life with Sam certainly can act as inspiration for me, they are and came from someplace within as did THE GIFT I GIVE MY READERS as spelled out above.

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