Mother’s Day Memories – She Was My Best Friend

by Sheila Finkelstein on May 11, 2013

Throughout most of these posts my “Writing for Healing” has been around Sam, my beloved late husband, and the various emotions coming up around his no longer being here.

Given that tomorrow is Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of the healing writing I did 37 years ago, much of it on the airplane going back to her home in Florida to be with my father before coming back up to Philadelphia, her final resting place.  I expanded on what I wrote on the plane and read it at the Memorial Service we had for her. Publicly sharing like that was another part of the healing process.

And, 37 years later, there still as a missing along with the deep love and gratitude for who she was that had me be who I am today.

SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND – Remembering Eva Grubman Bakely 11-12-14 to 8-1976


Best friend to husband, daughter, sons;
Best friend to family, sisters, sisters-in-law, nieces:
To friends; to those to whom she gave of self;
To those in Al-Anon to whom she helped give a new lease on life–
an inner strength.

Who is SHE?” she would have asked.
was wife; she was mother.
Sometimes one was first, sometimes the other
But never self!

Consoler, confidante, advisor, lover–
Wisdom was her way.
Always searching, always seeking, always finding something new.
Seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling–sensing. . .
What beauty she could find!

Loving nature, loving life,
She shared.
She excited others into new perceptions, new appreciations.

Talk to these others; listen and hear:
“Generous of self–soft, sensitive.”
”She enriched the lives of all who let themselves be touched by her.”

“Never an unkind word about another.
Always concerned with doing right by him.
Totally open and honest in her relations.
She always had a sense of humor.”

“A truly unique person–a beautiful one!”

To hear much of this is to be a little surprised,
Only because her virtues have become inbred and an accepted part of being.

If to have known her is to have been enriched,
To have been descended from her is to have been blessed.

She made her life, and through her actions imparted and taught,
“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can
And Wisdom to know the difference”–The Serenity Prayer

Courageously she fought her illness and the inevitable.
Finally and serenely she faced it and accepted.


Good-by our Dearest, devoted friend,
Eternally a part of us.

©1976 – 2013  Sheila Finkelstein, Daughter




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